Wedding Crashers
by xxxPURPLExVIOLETSxxx
Summary: Their parents got engaged and there's no way in hell are they going to be step-siblings. But as the spent more time together in ruining the engagement, they find another reason why they don't like the idea of being brother and sister. SEDDIE!  re-upload
1. iWas Attacked by Cables

Freddie pushed the door open, only to find himself regretting doing so. For out poured toxicly eco-friendly clouds his mom calls perfume. "You going out?" he said with his arms over his mouth, coughing.

"Yes. Melvin got us tickets to an opera downtown. Wanna come?" Marissa replied, talking to Freddie through a mirror 'cause she's busy applying make-up to her face.

"Um, I think I'll pass…" her son cautiously excused himself. "Nice dress, by the way."

"Thanks." Her hand grazed over the black dress, removing dirt that's not even there. With a satisfied smile, she continued, "Melvin bought it for me."

Freddie simply rolled his eyes. He's happy for his mother, he really is. It's been so long since Marissa had a relationship with any man. And the last one was barely human! He still shivers at the thought that his mom dated Lewbert. Now _**that's**_ a relationship Freddie can never be happy for. But her mom just kept on talking about her boyfriend over and over again that Freddie grew tired of hearing the guy's name. And the fact that he never met the man himself doesn't alleviate his annoyance.

Marissa seems to be oblivious of her son's thoughts. "Freddie, have you seen my earrings?"

"Huh?" Freddie snapped back to reality, only to be greeted by her mom running around frantically.

Marissa was crouching down, looking under her bed. She looked up and yelled, "My earrings! Do you know where they are?"

All that Freddie needed to do is open the drawer beside him. "Here." He expended his arm to hand the missing earrings. He felt a snicker creep through his mouth, remembering that his mom refuse to use anything that's sharp. Even her earrings are clip-ons.

With an exaggerated sigh, she pulled herself up with difficulty and uttered. "Oh my goodness, thank you." She attached them to her ears and went on, "I'll be back by 11 pm and I'm just a phone call away, okay? And the fire department, police department, 911, Navy, Air Force, and Army are on the speed dial in case of emergencies."

"Yes, mom, I know. Just go." He was literally pushing Marissa through the door. It took a while for her to be completely out of the building because, as usual, her mom's unnatural strength overwhelms his.

Plopping on their couch, he flipped through the TV channels. He sighed, remembering that tonight is Thursday. They should be shooting iCarly by now. But Carly had to go visit his grandfather in Yakama, leaving him with nothing to do. Even Sam has herself busy during this summer. The school had her attend summer school, much to her dismay. He sees her every now and then because he's doing tutorials to other students who are interested in tech stuff. But their occasional meetings always end up with him having bruises all over his body. Sam is so frustrated at spending her summer in her most hated place in the world and she's putting out all her aggravation to him. That's why he's been avoiding her at all cost.

He turned the TV off and reached for his laptop, reviewing the past iCarly videos they made. But there's this single video that makes him stop and watch for almost twenty times. It was the video where Sam admitted that she never kissed anyone. He wasn't there when they did that. He was at their fire exit, moping over the fact that he, too, has never been kissed. But that night ended with both of them having their first kiss. From each other.

He shook his head with hopes of making that memory leave him alone. But it never did. It's been months seen it happened but everything is still clear in his mind. And he doesn't know why. Carly kissed him five times when they were dating but still, there's something more significant with Sam's kiss. He just can't put his finger to what it was.

**oOo**

They've been here before. Sam's talking to her mom through the phone even though they could see each other through the glass separating them. Her mom slurring words that makes no sense, like 'Tell that cow that I'm sorry for stealing her wig.' The stern-looking guard watching their every move.

But this time, there's something different. Her parole officer is also here. And she's taking notes of what they're saying. What the hell?

After Pam hang up on the phone, the parole officer pulled Sam aside to talk, as if her mom could hear them. "Sam," the suit-wearing guy said, "I'm afraid to tell you that your mom is going to stay here longer than… she usually does."

"What do you mean?" The blonde haired girl in front of him asked.

"What I mean is, she'll stay here for 3 months."

"What? But… what about me? Who will take care of me?" Sam paused, recalling that her mother doesn't exactly take care of her.

"Your mom told us that your father also lives here in Seattle. She suggested that you stay with him as she completes her brief sentence here in jail." The officer explained.

"Wait," Sam exclaimed in a confused manner, "she told you that I should stay with Melvin? Are you sure she's fine when she's talking to you?" Pam would never let her see her father. Not 'til she's dead, her mother once said.

The parole officer checked his black clipboard and said, "That's what she said."

Sam groaned. "This can't be happening."

**oOo**

The next day, Sam found herself stuffing her locker on the hallways of hell – also known as Ridgeway High, grumbling. If only Carly was here. She'll know exactly what to say to calm Sam down. It's official. This summer is definitely the worst.

In her angry train of thought, her attention wasn't even capable of watching her way. So she ended up bumping to a cart full of wires and gadgets. "Aw, come on!" The owner yelled in that familiar complaining voice.

"Hey, watch where you place that thing, Fredweird!" she protested as she tried to release herself from the tangle of wires she's in.

Freddie helped her with the mess of cables enveloping her. "Next time, find other carts to slam into, okay?" he said as he finally got her free.

She grumbled something he didn't understand and walked away.

"Hey," Freddie called out, reaching for her arm, "I heard about your mother. I'm sorry."

Sam would've harshly pulled her arm away but she forgot how to. Freddie's voice sounded so sincere that it took her by surprise. She practically screamed at him but here he is, talking to her all nice. But then she remembered that she's Sam Puckett. "So. Why do you care?" she snapped coldly.

But Freddie seems to be unaffected by her harshness. "What I mean is where would you live?"

"With my Dad." She was gritting her teeth as she talked.

"You have a father?" his voice sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, whizhead. What do you think? My mom created my by herself?"

He shook his head, probably realizing how he sounded stupid. "C'mon, you know what I mean."

Sam couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, what's up with the sunny attitude? You know I hate it when someone's smiling when I'm around."

"I don't know. Maybe it's because my mo is hanging onto me less. She's been dating some dude –"

Sam started laughing. "Wait," she said, interrupting Freddie's sentence, "your mom's dating? Whose the unlucky guy?"

Freddie threw her a shrug and said, "Some big shot British dude."

"You met him?"

"Nah, but I heard his accent through the phone when he called, looking for mom."

"Speaking of British dudes, I have to go." She crouched down to pick up her red bag, which fell when Sam bumped into Freddie's cart. "My dad's expecting me to be home at 1:00 PM."

Freddie glanced at his watch and remarked with a puzzled tone, "It's half past 4 already."

"You actually thought that I'll be on time?" At that, she left the smirking AV Club member and headed to the door.

**oOo**

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	2. iWatch Sam Play The Violin

It was a sunny Sunday morning when passers-by witnessed the usual Bensons banter happening in front of the Bushwell apartment building.

"It's fine, Mom!" Freddie insisted, pushing Marissa's hands off his hair. "Seriously, it's all good. You already spent an hour and a half fixing it." He's used to his mom being too nitpicky but this is just crazy. He never saw her this frantic. And that's saying something, considering the hysterical antics his mother usually gets into.

Marissa sighed and said, "I'm sorry, okay? It's just that… you'll finally meet Melvin and I want everything perfect."

"C'mon Mom. What could possibly go wrong?" He gave her a comforting smile as he hailed a cab without any idea how his statement is going to bite him later that day.

A yellow taxi immediately stopped in front of them and Marissa pushed herself in front of Freddie and wiped the car seats with her ever-present wet tissues. With a signal that it's 'safe' to come in, she responded, "I don't know. I just don't want it to turn into total fiasco. What if he doesn't like you?"

Freddie let out a groan while plopping down the leather seat. "Mom, has it ever occurred to you that I might not like him? I mean, I don't know anything about the guy other that he's British and has huge bucks."

Marissa paused for a minute as the vehicle zoomed off. "Well," she finally said, "he owns a shipping company and is a divorcee for 17 years. He's currently living at the other side of Seattle, where we'd have our lunch. And he has a daughter from his first wife. And from what I've heard, you two would go along well. She goes to a prestigious boarding school and is spending her summer in Melvin's. I haven't seen her yet. Maybe she'll be home later."

Mom is serious with this guy, Freddie thought as he looked out the window. She spoke about his daughter like she's her own. And it bugged him. He knew in his mind that the possibility of having Melvin and his daughter into his family isn't unlikely. And he's not sure how he should feel about it.

**oOo**

"Whoa."

That's all that Freddie managed to say as he stared at the huge infrastructure that is his mom's boyfriend's house. "You sure we're in the right place?" He asked, double-checking if he's even in Seattle. This looks so different from the city environment he's accustomed to. Instead, it sits comfortably on a natural background, secluded from the hectic lifestyle of a metropolitan.

"Yes. I had the same reaction." Marissa said excitedly, paying the cab driver. She too stared at it as she stated, "Isn't it beautiful?" She pulled the strap of her handbag higher as she announced, "I'll go look for Melvin. You go on inside." Her heels clacked on the bricked pavement of the driveway.

And he did as he's told. Another "Whoa," slipped through his lips as he took in the interior of the mansion. It's composed of modern and antique fixtures that are placed in a perfect order so that the structure could still boast its spacious rooms. He went on to the living room.

"Whoa," he screamed for the third time, but this time, for a different reason.

For staring at him in his face is Sam…

…wearing a pink dress…

…playing a freakin' violin!

Freddie felt as if the delicate fabric of time and space is unraveling right before him. What kind of a twisted day is this! The moment he finally had the capability to move his muscles, he reached into his backpack and pulled out the foldable staff he bought after Sam beat him up for not letting her copy from his finals exam.

"Freddie?" Sam exclaimed in a strangely higher voice, dropping her violin down. "Is that you?"

He backed up, waving the wooden stick at her. "What are you doing here, Sam?" his voice faltered with much confusion.

"What?" Sam's face distorted into a puzzled expression like his. "What are you talking- Oh." She nodded, as if understanding something he can't. "You still think I'm Sam, don't you?"

Freddie didn't have the chance to question what Sam meant 'cause someone entered the living room with a bowl of strawberry ice cream in hand.

"Fredwierd?" a surprised familiar voice exclaimed. "What the hell?"

"Wait, what?" This time the staff slipped through his hand from sweating profusely. "Sam?" It was then did Freddie realize that the fabric of time and space has officially been ripped.

"Yes, dimwit. I know who I am." The girl holding the ice cream affronted with the rudeness only Sam Puckett could possess. "Now what are you doing here?"

"Well, what are _**you **_doing here?" he questioned nervously, still eyeing the 'other Sam' with puzzlement.

"We live here."

"_**We**_?"

"Melvin, Melanie and I." she said with a mouthful of ice cream.

Melanie smiled apologetically. "I tried to tell you."

A scream was heard. But this time, it's not from Freddie. "Why are you here?" Marissa asked, picking up Freddie's staff and pointing it at Sam and Melanie alternately. "And why are there… two of you?"

A towering man came into the room, his azure eyes staring at Marissa with concern. Freddie didn't need any introductions to know that this man is that infamous Melvin Beauregard. And Freddie is tongue-twisted. The man just exudes power and success, even if he's simply standing there in a blue polo shirt and khaki pants. He's definitely a huge step up from the Bushwell doorman.

"Marissa, is there anything wrong?" the businessman in his mid-40's asked with a thick British accent. Then he turned to the blond-headed girls and smiled, "Ah, I guess you already met my daughters."

The Benson matriarch threw Melvin one of her infamous eye bulges as she said with incredulity, "Your daughters? I thought… I thought you only have one daughter."

"Well," Melvin tucked his hands to his pockets, obviously used to Marissa's freak-outs, "I originally have one daughter in my care. I'd like you to meet my darling Melanie." He had his arm drape over Melanie with pride as she waved at Marissa with sweetness that can't possibly come from someone related to Sam Puckett.

Melvin continued. "And, under some, uh, unexpected circumstances, my daughter with my ex-wife is temporarily placed under my custody." He had his other arm around Melanie's twin, who pushed it aside rebelliously. So instead, he just rested his hand on her shoulder as he introduced, "This is Melanie's twin and my other daughter, Sam."

He turned his attention to Marissa's son, who is pale with bewilderment. "And this must be the Freddie of the thousand stories." He scrutinized the younger man before stating, "You're not at all what your mom said you would be like."

Freddie threw a questioning look at his mother then an annoyed one at Sam as she chuckled.

A man with chef's toque came into the room announcing that it's time for lunch.

"Fancy." Freddie murmured at his mother as they all proceeded to the dining area.

**oOo**

Melvin wiped his mouth with a table napkin after lunch, an action so impeccably done that Freddie can't help but ogle. This man is seriously better than Lewbert. There's just one problem. And that problem is sitting right across the table. Sam.

Freddie sighed as he forked the remainder of his lunch. He just can't stomach the thought of his mom dating Sam's dad.

And the news that followed just pushed his disbelief further.

"Um, if I could have everyone's attention?" Melvin started, making Freddie look around, making sure that Melvin's still talking to a group of five people. "I'd like to make an announcement. I know that we all met each other as a whole just a few moments ago. And what I'm going to say may sound a bit too rushed to some of you but I believe in the saying that if you found something amazing, never let it go."

Freddie and Sam exchanged panicking looks, dreading to hear where this announcement is going to lead.

The businessman went on. "Marissa and I have been talking about this for a while and now that everyone's here, I might as well say it."

The next moments were covered with frenzy.

Melvin and Melanie were exchanging words of excitements.

Marissa was hugging Freddie and telling him how happy she is.

Freddie reached into his pocket for his inhaler for he is finding difficulty in breathing.

Sam faded into the background, unable to absorb the news: Melvin and Marissa are getting married.

Earlier this morning, Freddie thought that his mom brought these huge luggages because of her tendency to overpack. But now, he realized how wrong he was.

The Benson's are moving in.

**oOo**

**Read it. Love it/ Hate it. Review it.**


	3. iAngrily Drop My Luggage

**Some parts of the last chapter are a bit… out of character. Hope this is better.**

**oOo**

After Marissa asked Freddie to fetch their baggage, she went to find Melvin in his home office. "Melvin, we need to talk." She announced, knocking at his glass door.

He looked up from his paperwork and laid down his reading glasses. "Sure. What's bothering you?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you have two daughters? And that one of them is Sam Puckett?" She tried hard not to sound accusing but can't. Agreeing to welcome him and his daughter to her family is a big deal to her and not being informed that the girl who's been torturing her son is gonna tag along is too much.

"Wait. How'd you know my ex-wife's surname?" His auburn eyebrows creased on his forehead in confusion. He motioned for her to sit down on the chair across his oak desk.

But Marissa declined, unable to sit down when she's freaking out. "Well, it just so happen that Sam goes to the same school as Freddie's. In fact, they're actually good friends for a while now. Though I wouldn't exactly put their friendship in the 'good' category."

Melvin smiled at what she said. "This is great. At least you and your son are already familiar with one of my children."

"I know her well enough to see how difficult it would be to have her in my family. She's been bullying my son for seven years now. And her reputation as a violent girl has already been in our community news paper."

"Hey," he got on his feet and stood in front of her. Seeing how upset she was, he rested his hands on both her shoulders. "I know Sam can be a bit of a… handful. But this is my daughter we're talking about. Pam's upbringing of her might not be the most conventional way but she's in my household now. It may take some time but I'll do whatever it takes to make her feel part of our family, okay? I haven't been a father to her in years and I was hoping that I'll make up to it while she's still with me."

"I don't know." Marissa replied, making her doubts obvious. "I mean I still don't know how Freddie's taking it. They both have been practically living in their friend Carly's house but this… this is different."

Melvin raised his brow. "I thought you said that Sam was bullying Freddie."

His fiancée shrugged and said, "I don't know. They have a very complicated relationship. But that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is I'm just protecting my family. Freddie and I have been on our own since his father died and I've been doing everything that it takes to keep him from harm. And how can I feel secure when the girl who's been tormenting him lives under the same roof as ours?"

"Look, I know that you're used to having Freddie as your only family. But in just a few months, you'll both be part of our family. And I'll do my best to protect both of you. I'll make it a point that Sam won't harm a single hair on your son's head, okay?" Melvin looked at Marissa intently as he continued, "I… I hope that this doesn't affect our engagement. I just can't let go of Sam right now. You understand that as a parent, right?"

She simply sighed, unable to say no to his disarming sapphire eyes. "I guess. But I still have my doubts on Sam, understand?"

**oOo**

Sam was laying down a line of red tape on their room's floor and walls when Melanie asked, "Um, Sam. What are you doing?" with an uneasiness in her tone.

"What does is look like I'm doing?" Sam looked up with that annoyed face of hers. "I'm setting our boundaries. That's your side." She pointed at the side with faux fur covered bed and Jonas Brothers wall posters. "And this," she directed her fingers to the left side with the socks-and-pizza covered bed and Bloody Hearts wall posters, "is my turf, okay? Don't get any idea of crossing that line 'cause I'll make sure that that will be the last idea that will ever cross your mind if you do."

"Wouldn't even think of it." Melanie concurred, giving Sam's scary posters a wary look. Her cautious footsteps led her to her bed. "Look, I didn't have the chance to talk to you since you came here. I would just like to welcome you back home and I know –"

Sam interrupted her as she said, "Just cut the BS, Mels. You know I can't stand it when you're showering me with your glitters and your fairy dusts. And let's get one thing clear. This isn't home, at least not mine. And when Pam gets out of jail, I'll be off this spic-and-span hell."

Melanie didn't reply for a while. She picked up a toy doll and fidgeted with it. "How's mom?" she asked in that tiny voice that everyone finds endearing.

Sam sat herself on her own bed. "She's fine." She thought over what she said and corrected it. "Well, not exactly your definition of fine but she's been through worse."

Melanie pulled her dolls yarn pigtails. "Nothing's worse than being in jail. She must be so scared and lonely."

Sam laughed at her in disbelief. "Can you be anymore childish? She won't be scared. She's Pam, for crying out loud. It's like you don't even know her."

"I don't" Melanie answered, staring straight at Sam. "I honestly don't know her."

Sam had no idea what to say next.

So Melanie went on. "Does she still talk about me?"

"Yes," she chuckled bitterly, "especially when I do something that disappoints her - which is all the time. She tells me how nicer it would've been if you were there. You're on her mind even if you don't think of her."

"I always think of her."

"And no one thinks of poor little Sam. What a shocker." Before Melanie could even comment, Sam jumped out of her bed and went for the door. "I'll go get some grub if daddy dearest comes looking for me – which is never."

**oOo**

"No, you really don't have to do that." Freddie said to the maid offering to help him with his suitcases. "I have it under control."

"Just let them, Freddie-fer." Sam remarked, walking down the massive staircase. "That's what they're paid to do."

Freddie turned to the house help and smiled, saying with finality, "I got it. Thank you."

The maid finally conceded, getting back to her chores.

"Goody two shoes." The blonde delinquent murmured as she passed him by.

"Sam, we need to talk." Freddie called out, following her to the kitchen with a handful of suitcases in his grasp.

Sam just replied bluntly, "And we all need peace on Earth but we can't have that, can we?"

"Sam, seriously!" He dumped his luggage on the floor and pulled her arm to face him.

Sam just stared at his hold on her arm with incredulity. "Dude, do that again and I'll cut your arm into a billion pieces."

"I don't care." Sam raised her eyebrow at his sudden audacity. He continued, "We need to talk about this insane chiz. My mom is about to marry your dad and I already had enough of your wisecracks as it is. I don't think I'll be able to handle it at a 24/7 basis."

She doesn't know if she should be angry or impressed at his sudden nerve.

"Just hear me out, okay?" Freddie lowered his voice. "It's not that I have anything against Melvin or you. But I can't be a part of this family. _**We**_ can't be a part of the same family."

"What can we do about it? It's not like we can talk them out of marriage. Don't get me wrong. The thought of a Benson being related to me gives me shivers but there's nothing we can do about it."

"C'mon. Sam, you're not telling me that you're going to give this up. I know somewhere in that devious mind of yours that you have some sort of a plan to stop this. Do you really want take tick baths 5 times a week?"

Freddie's plan to threaten her worked. "Okay, we _**need**_ to do something about this. But we'll have to do it…" Sam gulped, dreading to continue. "…together."

"Truce?" Freddie held out his hand.

His new cohort threw him her signature smirk. Giving Freddie an unexpected spitshake, she said, "Deal."

**oOo**

**Read it. Like it / Hate it. Review it.**


	4. iSank my Spoon in Pudding

**Hope this is worth the wait… :)**

**oOo**

Freddie dragged his bags through the hallway with Marissa lagging behind. Soon, they reached his room on the second floor. He opened the door and dumped his things on the floor so that he could have a good look around.

"What do you think?" his mother looked at him anxiously.

"It's… wow." Freddie grinned, soaking in the fact that it's covered with his old Galaxy Wars things along with new ones. "You brought my old stuff with us?"

"Yeah. I just wanted you to feel a bit more at home. And Melvin bought some new things too." She smiled and sat on his bed, but not before dusting it off for a full 3 minutes. "I mentioned you being a fan of Galaxy Wars to him once and I guess he remembered."

"Remind me to thank him some time." Freddie said in an unusually somber tone.

And it didn't escape Marissa's hearing. She sighed, knowing why. "Look, Freddie, I know this came a bit of a surprise to you."

"A bit?" he taunted, using one of his famous brow raise.

"Fine, it was shocking. But look at it at my perspective. I haven't been with a man that I care this much since your dad… passed away. And when he proposed, I should've told you. I know that. But I didn't know how. So, I had Melvin announce it to you. Melvin is amazing. And you two still have months to get to know each other before the wedding. You will like him, I'm sure. Just… just don't take this happiness away from me. Give him a chance, okay?"

Freddie gave her a nod.

She reached for his arm and squeezed it gently. "Thank you." she murmured, seeing that her son is willing to give Melvin a shot.

She's wrong.

**oOo**

Freddie spent the next hour unpacking.

"Hey there, neighbor." Someone called out from the room across the hallway.

He looked up to see the caller walking up to his door. "Hey, Melanie." This time he was sure. Sam wouldn't be caught dead in a high ponytail.

"Look who's catching on." Her shoulder leaned on his doorframe. "I thought you're gonna scream Sam's name on my face again."

A chuckle escaped his mouth. "I'm sorry. It took a while to absorb the fact that Sam isn't lying about your existence."

"I wouldn't blame you." Melanie remarked. "You want to take a walk? I could show you around, if you like."

And they did just that.

"So, are you and Carly still good?" Melanie asked as they walked by the lapping pool.

He turned to her with confusion. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry, but aren't you two, you know, together?" Her tone matched his.

Freddie did something he never would've thought he'd do when paired up with Carly: He laughed. "No." He said in a matter-of-factly way. After a few more snickers, he continued, "I had a crush on her, like 2 years ago. But I guess she made it clear that the two of us will never happen. And I'm okay with that. I just see her now as my best friend."

"I… I don't understand." The knit on her forehead grew deeper. "I know that Sam's been torturing you for who knows how long now. If it's not because for a girl you like, then why do you still put up with her?"

Freddie couldn't find the words to answer.

"Oh." Melanie concluded, giving him a knowing look.

"No! It's not what you think. I will never, emphasis on NEVER, see Sam in a romantic way." He sat himself on the bench swing. His companion followed suit. "Never had, never will."

Melanie giggled at his response, much to Freddie's puzzlement. "But you had kissed her, right? Oh, spare me the I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about look. You know what I mean. You think I already forgot what you said after I kissed you? I think your exact words were, 'You swore we'd never do that again,'."

"Ah, you caught that?" he rested himself on the backrest as he rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "There's more to it than that, okay? We just… it's… it's complicated." He submitted to the challenge of finding the right words.

Melanie's sapphire eyes stared out at the equally blue waters in front of them. "Yes, relationships often are." She remarked with a thoughtful smile on her face.

But Freddie didn't get the glimpse of her smile. Instead, he just groaned, "For the last time, there's nothing between Sam and I other than pure animosity. Can we talk about anything else?"

"Fine." the blonde girl obliged. "How's your summer?"

He shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I signed up for the Audio Visual Editing Class so I'd have something to do during the summer."

"You're attending classes?"

"No, I teach one." He replied with silent gusto.

Melanie turned to him with wide eyes and smile. "Wow. Impressive."

Freddie opened his mouth to reply but a barfing sound reached their ears. Both of their heads turned, only to see Sam standing behind them. She feigned another gagging noise and remarked, "It's bad enough that Whizz Pants tries a desperate attempt to flirt, but I'm related to someone gullible enough to buy it?" She rubbed her fingers against her forehead. "That's just unfortunate."

Freddie simply rolled his eyes, used to Sam's harsh comments. "What do you want, Sam?"

"I need to speak with a certain nerd who owns this rash ointment." She raised the bottle in her hand and tauntingly waved it in the air.

He looked a Melanie with panic in his face. "I… I don't actually use it. My mom… she still thinks I have itches and –"

"C'mon, Fredalupe!" She halted his train of fruitless excuses. "You're burning daylight!" She continued on shaking the ointment bottle as she walked into the house.

"I gotta go." Freddie stood, annoyance written all over his voice.

"It's okay. I'll catch up with you later!" Melanie responded, shouting because Freddie is already halfway indoors.

**oOo**

"You got me." Freddie said the moment he caught up with Sam in the kitchen. He inserted his hands in his pockets and continued with irritation in his tone, "Shoot."

Sam waited for the maids to leave, their exit obviously because of her looming presence. When the coast is clear, she talked in hushed tones. "We need to get moving with the whole 'ruining the wedding' thing, understand? We've only got months to go and I'd appreciate it if you put your hormones aside and flirt with my sister some other time."

Freddie had his eyebrow elevate in a mocking manner. "Jealous?"

"More like disgusted." Sam flicked her finger in between his eyes and went on, "Just get your head in the game, okay?" She pulled a chair and sat herself.

"Fine. What do you have in mind?" Freddie crossed his arms across his chest.

"Hey there, Sam and Freddie." Melvin passed by, nodding at both of them the way only a British gentleman would. "What are you kids up to?"

Sam inwardly groaned, hating the way he called them 'kids'.

Freddie came up with an excuse. "I'm just… helping Sam with some homework."

"Okay then. Carry on. If you need me, I'll be in the den." At that he left.

Freddie gave Sam a questioning gaze. "He actually believed that you're doing your homework?"

"Yeah. Another proof that he doesn't know a zilch about me." She stood up and grabbed a bowl of pudding from the fridge.

"Wait. Where did he say he was going again?" the russet-haired guy pushing himself up to sit on the counter said.

"The den." Sam answered with a mouthful of pudding. "It's nothing much, really. He's just being overdramatic when he called it 'The Den'. It's just a dusty library with a mess of books so old that they'll fall apart at the vibration of footsteps."

"Wow. Just imagine what Mom would do if she saw that room." Freddie mused.

Sam's hand suddenly let go of her spoon, not even minding if it's sinking in the pudding. "That's it!" She shoved the bowl forcefully against his stomach and beagn walking back and forth. "Melvin never let anyone touch his fossil-aged heap of junk. Not even his precious Melanie. And there's no way that crazy mother of yours won't freak out and keep her hands from cleaning that place spotless!"

Freddie placed the bowl on the counter and jumped down. "I can't believe I'm saying this… but that's genius."

"And I can't believe I'm saying this… but you're absolutely right." Sam said, her devious smile gleaming at Freddie.

And it was the smile Freddie had always loved, whether he knows it or not.

**oOo**

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